I received a Facebook friend request last night which I accepted which lead me to reading her blog which lead me to reading a whole bunch of other people's blogs from her list that I knew. These people that I knew were from high school and I wasn't really friends with them per se, but they were LDS so I knew of them and we were acquaintances. Hi hey hello, you know, that sort of thing. But the more blogs I read, the more left out I felt. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Is. Pregnant. Or. Has. At. Least. One. Baby. Why not us?
I don't really mind being asked, I ask myself the same question often. Why is it that I love animals so much and yet I don't get weak in the knees over newborns? Why don't I have that maternal instinct that some women seem to have an excess of (can I have some?)? I never loved baby-sitting. Don't shun me please, I'm just letting it out. Malm, you understand me, you were the same way. You say the only three babies you ever liked were your own, and I'm counting on that to be true for me too. Sorry to call you out :)
We've had excuses, even if some are a bit lame: We're still in school, we don't have any money, we don't have great insurance, we're only 24 years old, we've only been married two and a half years, we don't want our Disneyland passes to go to waste... But pretty soon it seems our excuses will run out. I know our church is all about families, and I know that my life is going to be so much more complete with kids, and I can't wait to start dressing them up and taking family pictures and going on outings and trick-or-treating and seeing the light in their eyes at Christmas when they're opening presents, etc. Lately, since I've been thinking about this a lot (which is a start right??), my mind drifts to how I'm going to let my parents and blog readers know when we're expecting, haha. It has to be creative, that's for sure. There's a lot to look forward to. Why hurry it up? Anticipation is half the fun!
Also in the excuse department, I'm scared of being pregnant - throwing up is probably my biggest phobia. I hate nausea. I don't like pain so the thought of giving birth terrifies me. But billions of women have done it, so I feel like I should just get over it.
There's also the possibility to consider that maybe we won't even be able to have kids when that time comes. Maybe ignorance is bliss.