The One with A Little Bit Personal


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I don't really like to get very personal on here, some things will always be taboo (politics for instance) but there's a first for everything! So let's get to it, I know everyone is dying to ask, why don't we have a baby? First comes love (truly madly deeply!), then comes marriage (marriage is the best!), then comes the baby in the baby carriage (crickets chirping...).

I received a Facebook friend request last night which I accepted which lead me to reading her blog which lead me to reading a whole bunch of other people's blogs from her list that I knew. These people that I knew were from high school and I wasn't really friends with them per se, but they were LDS so I knew of them and we were acquaintances. Hi hey hello, you know, that sort of thing. But the more blogs I read, the more left out I felt. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Is. Pregnant. Or. Has. At. Least. One. Baby. Why not us?

I don't really mind being asked, I ask myself the same question often. Why is it that I love animals so much and yet I don't get weak in the knees over newborns? Why don't I have that maternal instinct that some women seem to have an excess of (can I have some?)? I never loved baby-sitting. Don't shun me please, I'm just letting it out. Malm, you understand me, you were the same way. You say the only three babies you ever liked were your own, and I'm counting on that to be true for me too. Sorry to call you out :)

We've had excuses, even if some are a bit lame: We're still in school, we don't have any money, we don't have great insurance, we're only 24 years old, we've only been married two and a half years, we don't want our Disneyland passes to go to waste... But pretty soon it seems our excuses will run out. I know our church is all about families, and I know that my life is going to be so much more complete with kids, and I can't wait to start dressing them up and taking family pictures and going on outings and trick-or-treating and seeing the light in their eyes at Christmas when they're opening presents, etc. Lately, since I've been thinking about this a lot (which is a start right??), my mind drifts to how I'm going to let my parents and blog readers know when we're expecting, haha. It has to be creative, that's for sure. There's a lot to look forward to. Why hurry it up? Anticipation is half the fun!

Also in the excuse department, I'm scared of being pregnant - throwing up is probably my biggest phobia. I hate nausea. I don't like pain so the thought of giving birth terrifies me. But billions of women have done it, so I feel like I should just get over it.

There's also the possibility to consider that maybe we won't even be able to have kids when that time comes. Maybe ignorance is bliss.

So anyways, we feel the timing is almost right. Not quite there, but just know that we're thinking about it. Who knows - maybe this could be us in a year. Or two. Or three. Or four. Or more :)
LOL.

22 comments

  1. You are the best you there is, baby or not!

    And for the record, I abhorred babysitting growing up, too. And even now, being home 24/7 with Jack is tough - I was so used to being busy doing my own thing, but now I do everything except my own thing. You're not alone with those worries, just to let you know.

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  2. I adore this post. We waited 6 years, and I think that we got that question 5 billion times....and unlike you, I got sick of it. I felt like an outcast. Everyone that has been married as long as Paul and I have at least 5 kids. Paul came up with a bunch of excuses why not to have children, and pretty soon I didn't take no for an answer. Paul didn't want children EVER, and if you ask him it was the best thing he ever did. Seriously it is up to the two of you, and the timing will be perfect whenever it happens! =)

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  3. Good thing I'm in no hurry to be a grandma, huh? I loved the picture on this blog. Too funny!

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  4. I always ask myself, out of all of the millions of babies that have been born on this planet from the beginning of time until now, how did I manage to get the three very best babies that have ever been born??

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  5. Thanks for being "Personal". For the record, I feel the EXACT same way. (Except I don't even love animals, I'm awful). The only thing/person I really LOVE is Patrick and I am TERRIFIED of having a baby because I don't think I'll love it. (Oversharing). My mom was the same as your mom and tells me when I have babies I will be the same, but who knows?? In the meantime, we're pledging 3 more years before we even talk about it. Hope you're enjoying Pasadena! What a cute town!!

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  6. well let me just say that i'm glad you wrote this post! we got married around the same time and maybe we'll have kids (whenever that may be) around the same time! you're right, for being married 2.5 years and childless, we're DEFINITELY in the mormon minority!

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  7. I know how you feel. I see people I went to high school with and they have babies but we don't. Josh and I have been married for over 4 years. We got married young, so thats one excuse not to have babies right off the bat. Also the whole money and school thing plays a factor. I love our cats. So much so that I'm afraid sometimes to have kids because what if I stop loving my cats. :( sad thought. Kids are a lot of work and when I think about it I know I'm not ready right now even though I wish I could be.

    Funny thing, tonight we went out to dinner with my husbands family for this birthday. His little brother asked us why we didn't have a baby. (he's 8 and autstic) It was cute.

    Someday.

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  8. Ha... seems I am the same :o) The only kids I like are my own, I hated babysitting, Scared to death of throwing up and hate pain! The worst thing is (not to put you off or anything)when they are little they get sick all the time which means lots of bugs and throwing up in the house... I am a wreck!

    BUT having said that, there is nothing in this world that fills my heart with so much joy than those little mess monsters that I gave birth to.

    Don't hurry it- if it is meant to be you will know when the time is right!

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  9. That pic is hilarious! You've got to feel comfortable about making the biggest decision of your life (bigger than getting married, I think). Just pray to know when it's right for you. It is a lot harder to have kids these days with the education system (how expensive, how long, etc.), the high cost of living etc. When the time is right you'll be prepared by the Lord for whatever comes your way :)

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  10. You're so young, Paige! I wasn't even married at 24, much less thinking about babies. I have two now, but I'm also 33 - just think how many babies you could have by then! haha! Really though, when you're ready, you'll be ready and it'll be an easy decision. My theory has always been that if you have to convince yourself of something (in this case, having a baby) then it's not the right time or decision. And I too know people who aren't really baby people, just their own so you're definitely not alone in that. And oh, the morning sickness...yeah, I won't go into that. ;)

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  11. the baby question...it's always a fun one to answer : ) if my two cents are worth anything then this is what i would say...when the time feels right, it will be right...you two are awesome and will be great parents. good luck on your decision journey babe...always here for anything : )

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  12. love your honesty. i am totally with you peggy. when the time is right for you and your husband you will know. the pressure can be ridiculous. im almost 30 and people ask me all the time when we are going to have another baby. frankly, its a very personal question. i hate answering it. when the time comes, you will be a great mommy! live it up with your man while you can. :) and yes, those disneyland passes need not go to waste!

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  13. First of all, your Mom is just the sweetest. ;)
    Second of all, what you and Chris want right now is no one's business, ya know? Everything comes at the time it's supposed to so just enjoy this time now with Chris and your animals and one day you'll have some babies to enjoy, too. Being a Mama is the best though. ;) Hugs!

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  14. I really enjoyed this. For the record, I also hated babysitting when I was younger and was never baby crazy like it seemed so many other girls were. For the first couple years we were married I knew I wasn't ready for kids yet, then one day things just kind of clicked and it seemed right. Don't let anyone rush you at all, it is none of their business. I actually got to the point where I wanted to tell people that we couldn't have kids, just to make them feel dumb for asking (so I'm a little mean...). You'll get there whenever you do. I was also afraid of being deathly ill during pregnancy too, and I'm happy to report that things have just gone great! So you never know. You have plenty else going on.

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  15. Don't let anyone pressure you into getting pregant before you are ready. It is a huge life changer and committment, the biggest! My DH and I were together 10 years and married 5 before we had our first child at age 27. I was also never one who looooooved holding a baby or babysitting but I always knew I wanted my own and would love them more than anything when I was ready to have them. They are now 18 and 20 years old and other than marrying my DH the best thing I have ever done in my life. Those 20 years have gone so fast and now DH and I are empty nesters and wondering where the time went!
    When the time is right you will know! We did!! and I always think that if we had done it sooner they would not have been the "same" children we ended up with! KWIM?

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  16. Hey Paige! How's it going? I haven't talked to you forever, BUT ENJOY YOURSELVES! You'll have kids for the rest of your lives - enjoy just the two of you! I'm not pregnant, so there ya go! :)

    Anyway, hope all is well!

    PS Can I steal the idea of your banner with all the pictures and do that for my blog? I love it! Jackie

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  17. Aww, I love what your mom said. I love kids, and even babysitting SOME kids (haha!), but I definitely share your feelings on not being ready to have my own. Like...at all! I am hoping I will know when it's right, too! Thanks for stopping by my blog! =)

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  18. Everyone's time is different! And, I have little of that mothering goodness. Dan and I are constantly asking ourselves what we got into!! :) But, seriously, we waited until I was done with school and Dan had two years completed. I was 25. I couldn't have had children any earlier. I wasn't mature or patient enough. We popped out two more quickly so we could get it all done and over with!!
    Good luck. You'll know when (and if) its your time!

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  19. Reading this post was like reading my mind. You perfectly articulated my many feelings about having kids (And hey I'm 30!). Don't worry, you are not alone. Seriously. reading. my. mind. All of it. Especially the part about babysitting and other peoples kids. No thanks! And the part about not even knowing if you can have kids. Who knows these things!? "Maybe ignorance is bliss" Amen sista. Amen to it all. Who knows, maybe we'll get pregnant at the same time and we can chat about how weird it all is and wonder what the heck we're supposed to do!

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  20. Paige - enjoy the time you have now with Chris! I LOVED the time that I had with Blake and it's still great with a baby just a lot different. I'm glad that we didn't have Brooklyn until we had been married almost 3 years. You'll know when the time is right. :)

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  21. Thanks for this post. You know, we're the same way. We've been together for 9 years now, married for almost 7. When we first got married, we said, "Perhaps in 8-10 years." Then we said, "Never." LOL. Now we're saying, "Probably." LOL. I'm not in a rush, but I love babies. And I LOVE our dogs. They are SO spoiled and get SO much attention, and I don't want that to change for them. That's what I WANT for them. :-) And Jeremy and I just really enjoy our alone time. We love spending time together, but then again... we always say, "It will be so neat to cuddle as a family! Get up on the couch with our kids and our pups and a blanket." LOL.

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  22. Hey...Grandma Warner directed me to look at your blog. She must have read this post. I would say to wait until you feel completely ready, John and I were married 3 years until I got pregnant and I remember all the comments, including comments from members in the family. I was 27 when I had Alli and I still feel to young sometimes to have kids. It will change your life forever and there is no going back so I would say enjoy your new experience in California, but I am also excited for you to have kids for Alli and Tanner to play with at family things. That will be fun. You are so talented with your blog and everything, I can't believe that someone left such a crazy comment on your blog.

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